Five Steps to Being the Perfect Mother-of-the-Bride

In honor of Mother's Day, here are a few tips to help you enjoy your time as the Mother-of-the-Bride!

 Everyone say Hi to my mom!!  Photo by: Erin Kling Photography

Everyone say Hi to my mom!! 
Photo by: Erin Kling Photography

1. Allow your daughter to make her own decisions
She’s likely been dreaming about her wedding day since she was a little girl, or at least for the length of her engagement. While you are also excited for her and can’t wait to get started with the wedding plans, don’t overwhelm her with all of your wants and wishes. Give her time to digest the gazillion options out there and let her dictate how her wedding will look. Offer advice when she asks you questions, but let her ask first.

 Rachel & her Mom Photo by: Megan Garrison Photography

Rachel & her Mom
Photo by: Megan Garrison Photography

2. Be nice to everyone involved
Even though you may not like the groom or his family, it is their wedding, too. It is etiquette to invite the mother of the groom out to lunch to celebrate the engagement. Use this time to talk about how the wedding planning will proceed, how they can be involved, and work out any differences. The bride and groom can feel the tension, if there is any, so it is in their best interest to set aside past feuds and focus on the wedding.
Don’t forget that being nice to everyone also includes your wedding vendors. It can be easy to snap at them if they make a mistake, but remember that human errors happen, and being forgiving goes a long way. The better your relationship with your vendors, the harder they will work to make your daughter’s wedding day perfect!

 Shannon, Tommy, & her Mom Photo by: Elizabeth Crea Photography

Shannon, Tommy, & her Mom
Photo by: Elizabeth Crea Photography

3. Entrust your vendors to do their jobs
You’ve hired professionals to perform a job that you know they are capable of handling. Don’t hover over them and tell them how to do their jobs. It not only causes more stress on you, but makes your vendors uncomfortable. On the wedding day, these people will run the show for you, giving you the time and ability to be with your daughter. You don’t want to miss the first dance because you were double checking on the cake cutting. Give them some space and a chance for them to impress you.

 Courtney & her Mom Photo by: Sam Antha Photography

Courtney & her Mom
Photo by: Sam Antha Photography

4. Be Flexible
A wedding NEVER goes exactly as planned. Prepare yourself that there will be last minute changes. This is another reason why it’s important to be nice to everyone involved and to entrust your vendors, because they will make these changes as minimal as possible and keep everyone’s best interest in mind. Being able to go with the flow will keep you calmer and your daughter less stressed.

5. Relax
Your daughter can tell if you’re wound up and in a tizzy. It’s the biggest day of her life and there’s a lot of family and friends in attendance, which makes the day very emotional. You are her sounding board for the day and she’s going to look to you for support. If you are at ease, she will be too. By following the first four steps, you are on your way to being relaxed and enjoying you daughter’s wedding. 

Jessica Adams